Updated: Jan 16
In this blog post, you will learn about the importance of finding your own balance by going to the uncomfortable places in your mind. Use one of my experiences to inspire your own journey.
September is always a month of exciting beginnings and scary continuations. It's a month that brings change, new connections and new ideas.
It's a month of balance, a month when nights and days share the same amount of hours and we seek the equilibrium that will prepare us for the coming months and the end of the year.
In the last post, I told you all about how by learning more about our shadow selves we can find that balance not only in months like September but also all year round.
Taking it on from where I left it, in this post I want to tell you how being true to yourself can open doors you didn't even think existed for you and how you can get there.
PAY ATTENTION TO ALL THE SIGNS
Have you been through moments in your life where everything you were doing wasn't bringing you the results you wanted, and suddenly an idea you didn't think of too much started doing the trick?
What do you do when that happens? Do you continue pursuing the initial idea even if it's not working for you or do you start paying attention to the other signs?
Some people talk about luck. But is it really so or is it hard work?
I'll give you one example and then I will leave it down to you to decide.
Last April, horror researcher, academic and friend Tugce Kutlu, told me about a call for papers to write a critical essay about the series Supernatural. She knew how much I liked the series because I talk about it all the time.
I was excited! I read the submission guidelines, and a couple of ideas popped up in my head. I had already been talking about these ideas with family and friends before I knew about the call. All I had to do was to write all those ideas down and save them on my computer.
Show yourself a carrot to not get cold feet
I printed and pinned the guidelines on the wall. Every time I sat at my computer I saw them, almost talking to me.
A couple of days later I designed a structure and typed away an introductory paragraph. I almost had the proposal ready. However, I left it marinating for a few weeks. The deadline was in June.
I went back to my abstract a couple of times before finally submitting it but I didn't put too much pressure on myself. I was happy I had found the confidence to even apply.
I also had a plan "B". If my proposal wasn't accepted, I was still going to do something with the ideas. This attitude removed any anxiety towards the thought of maybe "wasting my time".
At the beginning of September, I was told my proposal had been accepted. As you can imagine I was crying tears of joy.
THE POWER OF YOUR ATTITUDE IN FRONT OF POSSIBLE DRAWBACKS
Once you have analysed what would make you happy and why, how would you feel if you fail and why, you will be doing part of the exercise of facing your shadow. Or to put it plainly: you will become aware of those areas you struggle with and will find ways of not being stuck in your own mental loops.
The following are some of the learnings you can apply to your routine, not only if you are a creator, but also when you struggle to see which way to go next with your everyday life options and decisions:
Not over-worrying about what scares you if you feel the opportunity is for you
Have a carrot in front of you that serves as a reminder of what the future could look like
Work regularly towards your goal
Revise before finally throwing yourself into the void
Have a plan "B" that serves as a little mattress you can land on if things don't go to plan
All of the above will also start leading you towards the person you want to become and where you want to be.
Once you have faced what scares you without judging yourself, you will start shading light onto the problem, you will give it a name and you will learn to embrace it.
I know, easier said than done. But you have to start somewhere and creating awareness is the first huge step you need to take.
Life is a journey that comes without a map, you design it as you go along.
You are the hero of your story but you need to know your character very well and your character is in constant evolution.
All your fears and worries lurk in a dark part of your brain that will only jeopardise your future.
Face your fears, embrace all those things you are running away from, integrate them and move on.
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
Did you know that being in a dark space is not such a bad thing?
Did you know that you can shed light on your personal horrors by talking about them?
Did you know that when you share with others your discomforts you are calling on their critical thinking and empathy too?
Did you know that it's ok to grieve about your personal battles?
Did you know that all of the above is connected to the Gothic?
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Your life is your story and you decide how to write it!
Thanks for reading and for your support!